__(Salutation)___ Everyone!
Welcome to ___(an acronym)___! We know this is already your ___(large #)___ welcome e-mail from people in the program, but we’re important. As we mentioned in our first ___(noun)___ on the MAPH Blog (read it!), we mentors completed the program last year and are staying on to offer ___(adj)___ advice and provide new MAPH students with the benefit of our experience. At any point during the year, drop by the office, make an appointment, or send us an email–whether things are going really ___(adj)___, or if they’re going the opposite of really ____(the same adj)___.
During colloquium, we’ll be in front of you to an almost-nauseating level to make sure you’re settling in to MAPH, the University, and your new city. First off, there will be an opening barbecue and ___(noun)___ screening, giving you the chance to meet staff and other students in the program. At the end of the first week, we’ll hold a breakfast where we’ll ___(verb)___ ourselves, speak on a couple of ___(adj)___ topics, and feed you lots of ___(plural noun/ideal breakfast food item that will probably not actually be served)___. Though we won’t start holding office hours officially until colloquium, we’ll be around over the next several weeks if you have any ___ (plural noun)___.
Then, as the year moves forward, we’ll be here to help with course registration, possible/probable thesis anxiety, social events, professional development, etc. As you can see, right now we have an excess of __(adj)___ time on our hands…but that’s only because you have yet to arrive and most of our job is acting as your resource.
We look ___(a direction)___to meeting you all at the opening barbecue. Until then, come by the office during the day or send us an email with any questions you may already have (keeping in mind that Course Registration is NOT happening yet, but will take place toward the end of colloquium and that the colloquium/core readings are in their final planning stages and are NOT YET available).
In the meantime, read the blog, stop by the office and introduce yourself (have we said that enough yet?), __(verb)__ the last glints of the summer sun, and go enjoy some non-compulsory reading. Trust us, once winter rolls around, reading something you haven’t been assigned will seem like some mythical pleasure you’re not sure ever really existed.
Take ___(noun)___ of yourselves,
Ben and Whitney
Oh…and the first one to e-mail us with a list of the words they used to fill in the Mad Lib will receive ____(some kind of reward)___.
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salutation: Sup
an acronym: NFL
large #: fourteen bazilion
noun: lampshade
adj: exquisite
adj: super-size
the same adj: super-size
noun: sunglasses
verb: wrestle
adj: invigorating
plural noun/ideal breakfast food item that will probably not actually be served: eggs benedict with lobster and french toast
plural noun: froot loops
adj: stout
a direction: sideways
verb: impede
noun: blue whale